Embrace Who You ARE...And Who You Are NOT!

Talent.  The innate abilities that we are born with.  The skills we can acquire as we grow into ourselves.  Uniquely our own.  Never replicated.  And depending on how we use them, they shape who we are and what we become.  While they can definitely be of benefit to ourselves, they are also gifts that we can and should share with others.

I was designed to have certain talents, certain gifts, that would carve the path I needed to take in life for the sake of God and for the benefit of others...And so were you. 

In my journey through The Resolution for Women, I always go back to a certain chapter titled Authentically Me.  The challenge in the book was to make a thorough list of my talents.  The opportunity to examine who I am and to identify my strengths. 

Through this list and this particular chapter, I learned a lot about talent.

The first thing I learned about talent is to celebrate who I am and who God has made me to be. 

Here are the things that I am: 

1. I am a Teacher.  
2. I am Relational.  
3. I am Creative. 
4. I am Loyal and Devoted.
5. I am a Leader.
6. I am a Multi-Tasker and thrive under pressure.
7. I am Open and Honest.   

As I listed my talents one by one, I was struck by an instantaneous thought.  Man, I totally thought my list would be longer than this.  (Humility isn't on there, did you notice?)  If I'm completely honest with myself, I didn't list a lot of things that I would consider a talent because...well, they were an intentional, sought-out, self-created talent.  Talents I let other people tell me I had or talents I created myself to fit the mold of who I thought I should be at the time.

We each have so many great things to give to one another, but here is the raw truth...We can't and weren't made to be all things!  I struggle with that.  I want to be it all.  I want to do it all.  Sometimes, thanks to a good 'ole smack in the face with reality, I realize that I certainly am not all there is to be. 


So, the second lesson I learned about talent is that we have to be able to look at ourselves and honestly admit the things we are NOT. 

I know that I am not the only woman who struggles with this.  Friend after friend, conversation after conversation, I have spoken with women who feel the same way. Thanks to Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media I find myself sizing up to the "competition."  With social media, we put our talents on display for the whole world to see...

Oh, look at the five flavor, three tiered cake I made for my co-workers birthday.  I totally cranked that out in just one hour. 

Oh, look at my children's rainbow themed birthday party I threw together and did I mention I only spent $10.00 thanks to the junk I had lying around my house and The Dollar Store. 

Oh, look at my new six pack of steel abs I got thanks to clean eating and juicing.  Only took 3 weeks!

On and on I could go.  I'm not trying to condemn.  I am ALL for saying it loud and saying it proud.  Trust me, if I had a six pack of abs, you would know and I would post the crap out of those pics!  I think you should celebrate! 

Please hear me out on this statement.  It's profound...

It's not your fault you post it, it's MY fault that I compare myself to it. 

When I see those posts, I need to be genuinely happy for the person behind the post and stop condemning myself.  They are all of those things and YOU. KRISTEN. ARE. NOT. 

And the best part is...........It's OK!  My first thought should not be, Oh, I need to learn how to do that, but to be genuinely happy and proud of what she has accomplished.

Through this lesson's great application, I decided to make a list of things I am NOT.  Simply to bring myself back to reality a bit.  So here goes...

The things I AM NOT:

1. I am NOT a baker!  I don't know how to make a pie crust from scratch, nor do I know how to knead bread (whatever that means).  I once put olive oil in brownies because the directions on the back of the Betty Crocker box simply said add eggs and oil.  I grabbed the only oil I had in the pantry.  Oil is oil...right?  WRONG!  Needless to say the brownies had a tiny bit of an after taste.  The next day, I took them to the teacher's lounge and left them in the middle of the table.  They couldn't have been that bad because they were gone by lunch time.  I should have checked the trash!  :)  I also once had to call my parents because I was standing in the eggs isle and couldn't find the whipped eggs that my recipe was calling for.  My dad simply replied, "Oh man, we failed." 

2. I am NOT a seamstress!  I can't sew a button, don't know the purpose of a thimble, or even know how to tie the string through the needle.  Yes, I learned how to sew in my home ec class in middle school, but I had a friend do it for me.  Why don't they tell you that you will genuinely want to know how to do this in the future when you need to make pillows for your newly remodeled basement?! Then I would have paid more attention...well probably not.  The no-sew projects are the way to go!

3.  I am NOT an outdoors girl!  I once went on a camping trip with a group of friends.  I'm pretty sure I will never be invited back!  After sleeping on the ground, a small inconvenience I was willing to overlook for the sheer fact of living up to the true outdoors "experience"  I got up, brushed my teeth and put on my make-up in the side mirror of our car.  Yes, you heard me.  I said make-up.  I also made sure to match my swimming suit, hair band, sunglasses and earrings. I was going to be the cutest girl in the canoe.  Boy, did I have a rude awakening!  I sat there in the canoe repulsed by the pee and vomit infested river we were canoeing down.  I refused to get in the water and threatened anyone who dared to throw me overboard with my evil glare and pre-Madonna attitude.  As if it couldn't get any worse, somehow throughout the day, I lost my flip-flops.  I had to walk back to camp barefoot through mud and gravel.  I cried the whole way back and vowed to NEVER go camping again.  Did I mention, I HATE the outdoors!

4.  I am NOT a health and fitness guru.  I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that pretty much sums it up for me..."I run because I REALLY like food!"  I workout and I enjoy it.  But the real reason I workout is so I don't weigh 300 pounds.  It's a default, not a passion.  Yes, I love the feeling of a great work-out and I am always glad I did it, but I don't live and breathe to have a solid six pack.  I want to look good and I want to be in shape, but this girl wants to eat cinnamon rolls and a bowl of ice cream every weekend.  Who could ever give up Mint Chocolate Chip? 

I could keep going with the things that I am NOT, but I will spare you.  You've heard enough.  The point is, I think it is just as important to list the things you are NOT as it is to list the things that you ARE.  Not to torture or beat yourself up, but to realize that you can't and aren't made to be all things.  So stop pinning things on Pinterest you wish you could learn how to do, save the time and the energy.  At the end of the day, celebrate who you are and offer the talents you innately have. 


The third lesson I have learned about talent is that there are seasons. 

We all go through them.  Seasons of change.  Seasons of coming into our own.  Seasons of the good.  Seasons of the bad.  We have to know that we grow and evolve in this journey called life.  It's funny how I list now that I am not a fitness and health guru...but I once was. I used to be because it was something I had to do to lose weight and I honestly did enjoy it for the time being.  I also had a season of going and doing something every single night, planning elaborate trips, events that just stacked up on the weekends.  It made me feel important, included, and active.  Well, I am not in that season anymore.  I would rather watch a movie at home, in my sweats, using my husband's shoulder as a pillow, and eating my ice cream.  Sometimes in seasons we are single.  Sometimes in seasons we are students.  Sometimes in seasons we are mothers.  Sometimes in seasons we are thriving.  And sometimes in seasons we are just trying to survive. 

I have learned to embrace the season you are in.  New talents and new experiences can come from seasons.  Things you never thought you would do or see in your lifetime.  I am contradicting myself from my previous statement, but sometimes the things that we are NOT, end up being the things we ARE simply because of the season of life that we are in.  Take advantage of it.  Embrace it.  Live it.  Love it. 


Another lesson I have learned is that God uses our weaknesses, and not always our talents for HIS purpose. 

I love this quote.  God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called.  It shows that even in our deepest moments of weakness and darkest mistakes that God can use us.  He wants to use us.  Yes, sometimes he uses our talents (that's easy), but sometimes he beautifully exploits our weaknesses so that he can display his power and divinity.  He equips you to do things you never thought you could.  He is the potter.  You are clay.  But once again we diminish ourselves.  We compare ourselves.  We make excuses.  We see failure and inability.  He only sees opportunity and potential.  Trust him.  With God ALL things are possible, even in our weaknesses and failures. 


The last lesson I learned about talent, is that it is important to have the ability to reflect on who you are and how you are using your talents to benefit others. 

I am really good at using my talents to benefit myself, but how do those strengths go beyond my own use and recognition for the sake of others.  What am I doing to help someone else?  What talent can I easily and freely give, that may be difficult for someone else?  I can decorate, so I will help the church decorate for the Valentine's Day Marriage Seminar.  I can teach, so I will tutor and encourage children with special needs.  I am a leader, so I will lead and plan our mission trip to Guatemala.  I am relational, so I will reach out to the people in my life who need more encouragement in this season of life.  While I am sitting here patting myself on the back for all the talents I have used in the last year, I have to be honest.  I do well with the big picture, but I struggle with this concept on a daily basis!  Sometimes, I am just way too busy or have way more important things to do.  But I am reminded that it doesn't take much.  A smile, a phone call, a card, time with a friend, prayer, help...it can all go a long way.

Talent.  Know who you are and know who you are not.  Know when it is your time, your season and when it is not.  Know that your talents weren't given to you for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others. 

STOP comparing yourself!  Embrace who you are and appreciate who God has made you to be!  We are unique.  We are set apart.  We are our own. 

My Overused and Empty Christian Promise

 

Prayer.  It's something that has been in the forefront of my mind lately.  A topic that I have been wrestling with.  A conviction that has cut deep into my heart and soul.  Something that has literally made me stop and reassess all that I have ever believed, said, and done in regards to prayer. 

Well...I heard God loud and clear this morning, (in my deep, loud manly voice) "Kristen!  Good Morning!  Stop being lazy!  Get out of bed on your first day off for Spring Break!  Even though you are supposed to be doing a million other things right now, I want you to write a blog on prayer." 

Ok.  No.  I didn't hear his loud, booming voice ascending from heaven accompanied with harp music and bright lights...but something, yes something, in my heart told me to write this blog today. 

 

Everywhere I go and everywhere I turn it seems like everyone around me is in desperate need of prayer.  My friends' marriages are falling apart.  People that I love dearly have been diagnosed with cancer.  Loved ones are struggling with financial problems.  Family members that just can't seem break the chains of addiction.  All around me people are broken.  Broken and in desperate need of restoration.  Broken and in need of hope. 

 

 

As I sat the other morning praying to God about my own needs and wants, a gut-wrenching thought came to my mind.  You lied Kristen.  You gave the simple, overused, and very empty Christian statement to them.  You told them you would, but you haven't.  They were counting on you.  They were depending on you.  They put their hope in that statement you gave.  They needed you to pray.   

I don't want to judge others, so I am putting myself up on the stand.  You see, time and time again, I have given someone a false sense of hope.  I have lied to them in some ways.  I have sat with them and held their hand.  I have emailed them or text them this promising statement.  I have posted it on Facebook for the whole world to see.

"My thoughts and prayers are with you."

"Stay strong!  I will be praying for you."

"Praying for you in this time of need." 

Broken promise after broken promise.  Are our thoughts really with that person as much as they should be?  Or did we scroll through Facebook, think for 15 seconds about how sad it was, and move on to decide what we should make for dinner that night?  Did we pray for them like we said we would?  Or did we give them a quick 5 second prayer, "God be with them right now" while quickly moving on to our next plan for the day?

"My thoughts and prayers are with you."  In my opinion, it is the most overused Christian statement.  We are so quick, I am so quick to respond that way.  It's our way of trying to make it all better.  When what would really make it all better is to actually follow through. 

As I prayed the other morning, I cried.  I looked through my prayer journal and what prayers were ALWAYS listed first?  Sadly, my own.  Yes, I prayed for people (most of the time like I said I would), but they were at the end of the list.  #10 out of the first 9 about myself.  I prayed for what I needed.  What I wanted.  And oh by the way God, could you help them in their time of need. 

I felt convicted.  I should be pleading for this person.  I should be on my hands and knees, begging for their life, for their marriage, for their family, for their hope.  I am really good at praying fervently for the things I need, but when was the last time I prayed fervently for someone else's needs?

When I told people I would pray for them, I am sure that I didn't mean one quick prayer on my way to work, sipping my Starbucks, putting on lipstick, with the radio on and all the while thinking about the busy day ahead of me.  But sadly, I do it all of the time.  A "passing" prayer is what I like to call it.  But I didn't give them the time they deserved. 

I guarantee you that if I was the one with cancer, I would pray without ceasing.  If it was my marriage in shambles, I would pray without ceasing.  If it were my addictions I couldn't break the chains of, I would pray without ceasing.  If it were my debt that was piling up around me, I would pray without ceasing. 

So, my confession to you today is that I am selfish.  Not only am I selfish in life, but I am also selfish in my prayers.

There is absolutely, positively NOTHING wrong with praying for yourself.  But praying for new carpet just doesn't seem as important as praying for someone else's life. 

When I say that I will pray for you.  I want to mean it.  I want to stop casually saying, "My thoughts and prayers are with you." when in all honesty they aren't.  I want to pray for others like I would pray for myself. 

That morning, the morning I was blindsided with this conviction, I looked down at the bracelet I wear everyday that was supposed to remind me that I Am Second.  I try as best as I can to apply that everyday, but I wasn't applying it in my prayer life. 

 

 

From now on, I Am Second.  If I tell you that I am praying for you, I mean it!  It will no longer be an empty Christian statement. 

 

I challenge you to do the same.  I know I probably am not the only one who has ever made an empty promise about prayer. 

 

People need our prayers more than they ever have before.   They are counting on us.  They are depending on us to have power in numbers. 

 

I hope the next time you use that statement it won't be an empty promise, but one that is fulfilled and carried into completion.  Don't just pray for them one time.  Pray for them every single day until they find the answer.  Pray for them every single day until they are healed.  Pray for them every single day until their marriage is renewed.  Pray for them every single day until they find a job.  Pray for them every single day until they are able to forgive.  Pray for them every single day until they can break the chains of addiction.  Pray for them every single day until they are able to adopt that child.  Pray for whatever they desperately need.  Pray.  Pray without ceasing. 

 

I believe in the power of prayer.  I have witnessed first-hand what prayers and God's provision can do.  Prayer can and will make a difference.  And if you aren't praying for them, who will?